The Newlywed Game
by Trina Monkey and Oninu
Summary: Your favorite DBZ couples are on the NEWLYWED GAME! VB, GCC, K18! This story is guaranteed to make you laugh and possibly pee your pants, so BEWARE!
1. The Newlywed Game!

Blah" Speaking

'Blah' Thinking

**A/N**

Hi! I'm Trina Monkey and this is my faithful side kick Oninu!

Actually sis, you're my faithful side kick.

No. You're mine!

You're mine!

Liar!

Listen Monkey, anyone who's already read my stories knows that I'm Vegeta's mother. Since Saiyans are monkeys, I am your master and you are my slave-uh-I mean side kick. Hehehe. (Takes out whip and cracks it.) Dance monkey, dance! (After power rage is over, she calms down.)

You're not really Vegeta's mom. You're just a PSYCO! Besides, you can't be his mother, because I'm his woman. (Grins greedily.)

What about Bulma?

Shhhh! She doesn't know about us.

Uh….Okay. Well anyway, We're gonna begin this fic now. Uh…what are we writing?

Uh….The Newlywed Game!

Yeah!

**Disclaimer: Me no own**

Yeah. Me no own too.

Just shut up. Just shut up.

Okay. For now. Hahahaha! (cough)

**The Newlywed Game**

A grown man somewhere, in his healthy fifties with brownish, reddish hair comes out the back room and walks out onto the set. The audience grows wild as they see him and he waves to them and then walks to his panel on stage.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to The Newlywed Game. I'm your host Bob Eubanks!" The crowd goes wild, since the "applaud" sign was on. Bob looked at his cardsso that he wouldn't get the names wrong of the contestants. "Alright, first we have a man who found his soul mate at a World Martial Arts Tournament. His prize; two kids. Say hello to Goku and Chi-Chi!" Chi-Chi is smiling brightly, but Goku is looking deathly uncomfortable in his suit.

"Next, we have a monk whose wife is no Saint Mary. Give around of applause to Krillian and Android 18!" The crowd once again applauses.

"Last, but certainly not least, we have a Prince who wanted to destroy the Earth, but ended up marring the richest woman on the planet! Lets give it up for Vegeta and Bulma!" The crowd once again claps for them, but hooting and hollering could be heard towards Bulma, but they were all hushed when Vegeta gave them death glares.

"Okay, for round one, we are going to ask the women to leave the stage, so husbands say goodbye to your wives and please go backstage."

Chi-Chi looks at Goku sternly. "Now Goku, remember what we practiced."

"Uh…I'm supposed to say I like reading and sports, right?"

"No! That's not the question that they're asking! Remember all that we talked about at home and please do it right! If you don't, then I'll never feed you again! We could really usea bathtub! I'm sick of that darn barrel!"

Goku shudders in fear. "O-okay Chi-Chi."

18 looks at Krillian evilly as well. "Don't screw this up."

Krillian nodded and begins to mumble to himself. "Herfavoritefoodispizza.Wecangoallnight….."

Bulma just looks at Vegeta and winks. 'He'll stick to the plan, or it'll be no sex for a month.'

Once all the women were gone, Bob began the first question. "Okay Goku, When I look at my wife's breasts, I think gee…."

"Gee? Gee what? I don't get it. Is that the whole question?"

A sweat drop appears on Bob's face. "Yes Goku. You have to fill in the blank. What do you think of your wife's breasts?"

"Um….." his stomach then growls loudly. "They're like apples."

"Apples?" Bob looked confused. "Uh…Okay now Krillian, the same question."

Krillian blushes and thinks out loud. "Hehe. They're not Bulma's."

Vegeta growls at Krillian. "Hey, keep to your own woman."

"Come on Vegeta. That's not my answer. It's just a joke."

"Actually Krillain," started Bob "we have to take the first thing that comes out your mouth."

All of the color drained from Krillians face. "WHAT! B-b-but…she'll kill me!"

"We're sorry. We have to take the first answer. Now Vegeta, same question."

"They're perfect in every way," Vegeta said smirking. 'That better be the woman's answer too, or she'll probably blame getting it wrong on me and then I won't get any.' He thought to himselfand frowned atthe thought of not "getting any."

"Alright," says Bob "next question goes to Krillain."

"Okay, I'm ready for ya Bob."

"Alright, if your wife could take a pill that would satisfy her without having intercourse, would she take it?"

"No. Of course she wouldn't take it."

"Alright Vegeta, same question."

"HELL NO!"

"Um….Okay, Goku."

"Um….what's intercourse?"

Vegeta throws his head back and laughs. "You're making this way too easy Kakarot!"

"Hey! This isn't funny! I want to know!"

Krillian looks at his friend, embarrassed for him. "It means sex Goku."

"Oh! I know all about that! I didn't understand what it was at first, but once I started doing itfor a while, Chi-Chi said I was really good at it."

Vegeta thinks to himself 'What a loser! And he was the one who defeated Freiza. Ha!'

Bob then asks "So what about the question, Goku?"

"Uh…well, what flavor is the pill?"

Everyone falls anime style with their legs twitching in the air. Bob gets irritated. "It doesn't matter. Does she need your….intercourse?"

"What was that again?"

The whole audience yells "Sex!"

"Oh…well, I'm gone a lot, but she likes it when I'm around."

"Answer the question!"

"Um…well Chi-Chi didn't go over this one."

"It's a yes or no question!"

"Uh..yes!"

Krillian shakes his head and Vegeta whispers "Idiot."

Bob's blood pressure returned to normal and the normal color came back to his face. "Okay, last question. Vegeta, if your wife could be with any other man, who would it be?"

Vegeta gets angry very quickly. "Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of joke?"

"No. This is a game."

Vegeta grumbles and says very quietly "Kakarot."

"Uh..I'm sorry, but we couldn't hear that."

"Kakarot!"

Goku looks at Vegeta surprised. "Wow Vegeta. Don't take it personally. It's just a game."

Vegeta mumbles some curse words.

"Goku, same question."

"Um…I'd have to say Piccolo."

Vegeta starts laughing. "Does he even have any testicles?"

"But he's a man…wait….no he's not. Could I change my answer?"

"Sorry Goku, but it's Krillian's turn."

"I'm gonna say Vegeta."

Somewhere in the desert, Yamcha lowers his head in shame. "Why didn't anyone say me?"

Back on stage, Vegeta smirks, proud of himself.

Bob then says "That's the end of round one. Stay tuned to see what their wives will say!"

A/N: Please Review guys. I'm not going to update, unless we have at least four reviews. We hope you liked this, because we certainly were cracking up. Please review! Oh, and remember that squirrels are evil!


	2. Breasts, Pills, and Violence

Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: We no own**

Bob came from back stage on to the set and the sign "applause" came on and the audience began clapping. "Welcome back ladies. Right now it's time to guess what your husbands said. We'll begin with you, Chi-Chi."

"Okay," said Chi-Chi sweetly. She then looked at Goku and noticed that he was nervous.

"Chi-Chi, we asked your husband 'when I look at my wife's breasts, I think gee… Now what do you think Goku said?"

Chi-Chi turns to Goku and says. "I hope he said they're beautiful."

"Well actually Goku said…"

Goku holds up the card, scared for his life as the card showed his answer.

"Apples? Apples! That's what you think of me!" Chi-Chi was fuming with anger and embarrassment.

"Well uh…you're boobs are beautiful."

"Then why did you say apples!"

"I'm hungry! You wouldn't let me go eat some ice cream at the snack bar before we came."

"Well, you're gonna be a lot more hungry tonight buddy!"

Goku frowned.

Bob continued with the questions. "Okay 18, same question."

"Well, I know for a fact that Krillian said that they're flawless." She then eyed him evilly.

"Um…well." Krillian held on to his card tightly, refusing to hold it up. "That's what I said, hunny."

Vegeta interrupted. "Come on baldy! Show her the card!" Vegeta said laughing evilly.

Krillian held up his sign very slowly and when 18 saw it, everything went black for a couple of seconds. "They're not Bulma's!Bulma? What does Bulma have to do with us? Do you envision her while you're with me!"

"N-n-no! It was a joke! They made me put it down! You're breasts are perfect! A-a-as a matter a fact…that's why I married you! Yeah! That's why! I love your breasts!"

"So you married me for my body?"

"N-n-no! I just…love your breasts! They're perfect in every way."

She calmed down, but crossed her arms in her chair. "They better be." She mumbled.

Bob started once again. "Okay Bulma. Same question."

Bulma smiled with pride. "They're perfect."

Vegeta held up his card that said the exact same thing.

Bulma kissed Vegeta on the cheek, like every couple on the show, but Vegeta shrugs her off. "Not now woman! We're in public."

"Looks like Bulma and Vegeta get 5 points! Now we're on to our second question. 18, we asked your husband if he thought that you could take a pill to be satisfied without intercourse, he said that you would, or would not take it?"

She thought about it for at least two seconds. "I would."

Krillain's heart sank as he held up the card. "But….but what about-"

"What about what Krillain? Mister Tinny Weeny!"

Krillain's mouth dropped as he heard every male in the area laugh at him, especially Vegeta. "18, this is uncalled for!"

"Well, so was 'they're not Bulma's!"

Bob inferred again. "Well, while they're dealing with personal matters, we'll go on to Bulma and Vegeta."

Bulma said "Oh he said Hell no!"

Vegeta held up his card and Bulma was going to kiss him once again, but she knew that he wouldn't approve.

"Looks like you two are in the lead with 10 points. Now Chi-Chi, same question."

"No."

Goku looked nervous as he held up his card.

"Yes! You said yes? You're an alien with super strength and speed! Why would I need a pill!"

"I got confused. I didn't know what intercourse was and I didn't know the flavor of the pill."

"The flavor doesn't matter! I wouldn't take it if it was chocolate!"

"I'm sorry Chi-Chi, but I didn't understand!"

She yelled in frustration. "We'll never get that bathtub now! We'll be in that stupid barrel for the rest of our lives!"

Okay," said Bob. "Last question. Bulma, we asked Vegeta that if you could be with any other man, who would it be?"

"You're kidding right? Is this some kind of joke?" She smiled and quickly stated "Goku."

Vegeta growled and caught a major attitude as he held up the card. "What do you mean Kakarot?"

"Relax Vegeta, they said any other man, which isn't you! And besides, you had his name down anyway!"

Vegeta's murmurs curse words as he sets the card back on the ground. "Don't even think about coming near me to kiss me."

Somewhere in the desert, Yamcha lowers his head in shame once again. "Even you Bulma?"

Back in the studio, Bob asks Chi-Chi the same question. "Alright Chi-Chi, what did Goku say?"

"Well… I love my Goku to death, but if it had to be anyone else, it would have to be Vegeta."

Vegeta smirks and whispers in Bulma's ear "Once you go Saiyan, that's what you're craven."

Bulma rolled her eyes.

Goku held up his card nervously again.

"Piccolo? Why would I be with that creature? He has fangs and…lets not forget that he tried to destroy the world!"

"But Vegeta did too, and Piccolo is always around."

"I can't believe this! We have no points! Are you happy now?"

"No, I'm hungry."

Chi-Chi took a pillow and smacked Goku upside the head.

"What was that for?"

"What do you think it was for?" She crossed her arms and slouched in her chair and murmured "Piccolo? Yeah right."

"Okay," stated Bob to 18 "Same question."

"I'd have to say Vegeta."

Krillain excitedly showed his card. "We have some points now!" He tried to kiss her, but she shoved him away.

"Don't touch me. I still remember what you said earlier."

Bob snickered to himself. "I think this is the funniest group that I've ever had. Please stay tuned for round two, as we question the wives. So will the husbands please leave the stage."

**A's/N:** What will the questions and answers be?

"I know! I know!" Yells TrinaMonkey

"Shut up! You're not suppose to tell them until the next chapter, you idiot!" Oninu yells.

"Oh, well tune in next time! (I want to have Vegeta's baby)"

"Freak!"


End file.
